Whatever Happens in Romania Stays in Romania

Have you ever noticed that people in movies or television series never take their shoes off unless in a situation requiring them to do so? And when they are in their bedrooms, they lie on their beds with their shoes still on?

Living on campus with students coming from various parts of the world, the way to distinguish an Asian room from an “Ang Moh” room would be the presence of shoes outside their rooms. The Asians would leave theirs outside, while the westerners would not. There are exceptions of course, but it is true most of the time. 

"Ang Moh" is a colloquial term in Singapore/Malaysia for describing "Caucasians". Literally translated as "Red Hair", it may be interpreted as discriminatory among the Caucasian population in this region. However, to many locals it is just a term used interchangeably and affectionally with "Caucasians" in Singlish/Manglish (Singapore/Malaysian English). For the purpose of this article, the term is used for a local Singapore appeal. [Edited 08 March 2009]

My inter-cultural experience brings me back to Romania last summer, where my classmates and I represented NUS in an international pharmacy students’ conference. 

Falling asleep while voting for a motion

On the second night, we decided to have a “Noodle Party” among the Asia Pacific delegates. Of course, we were not the only ones playing host to parties that night – there were the wild Slovenians, the drunken Australians, and who can forget the Canadians!

Arguably the most innocent party that night, we were happily slurping our Asian noodles when a Danish friend of ours, Greg, dropped by with some Polish delegates.

The moment they entered the room, the whole room went silent. Not because they were half drunk, loud, and white, but because THEY HAD THEIR SHOES ON.

“Why is this party so quiet?” asked our fair-skinned Danish friend Greg.

“Why are there so many shoes outside? You’re not wearing your shoes! You’re dirty!” said one of the Polish delegate.

Somehow this got me annoyed. I stood up and asked them to take their shoes off. Greg obliged, while the Polish went on murmuring something in their own language.

“Hey, is this the nude party!?” said a topless Slovenian who was standing outside our door. Apparently, word got out that we Asians were having a “Nude Party”. They must be quite drunk or sexually motivated to mistake “Noodle” for “Nude”!

“Nope, they’re all clothed!” replied the Polish delegates while leaving the room.

Spot Greg the Ang Moh

The next day, I was having lunch with Greg when he asked if I was offended by the shoe incident. I told him that we were not offended by what they did, although taking off your shoes is a sign of respect to the host in many Asian societies.

“Then why did you all quieten down when we entered?”

I could not explain that, neither could I explain my annoyance when the Polish commented on us not wearing shoes. In my heart I was trying to convince myself that I was open minded in intercultural situations like this, and that I would understand if a westerner walked into my room without taking his shoes off. However, this situation clearly showed that we were not ready for such a revolution!

“I guess it could be hygiene?" I replied eventually. "Since we don’t wear our footwear in, you might have brought in whatever dirt that you all have stepped on before.”

We may think that learning about intercultural communication will make us more understanding towards others, but the fact is that we will never know how we will react until that situation happens. I still think that I was never offended by their actions, but after writing this, I think I am very much Asian with strong cultural traditions after all!

 

 

 

In between the post: Sequel to the Summer of ‘07

Alright, if you’ve been following my posts so far, the last time saw Jason and his subordinates (me included) stomping off in different directions. Here is what happened next.

The situation was much tensed. We refused to work even though the competition was getting nearer. In the end, Jason called Michael (again, name not real), one of the engineers, for a talk. Michael was like the trade union leader trying to negotiate with the employer for more recognition. The negotiations went nowhere for some reason which I cannot remember. We ended up shaking hands and “forgetting about it”. Do you think shaking hands solved everything? The fire was still raging in some of us.

So we decided to go for supper to discuss our plight. We came to a consensus that we needed to suck in our ego and finish up the work for the competition. All of us agreed that it was not worth coming this far and deciding to stop. You can say that we hid our anger and portrayed that things were fine.

The next few events would have sort of improved our relationship with Jason, though we did not put in much effort to mend the hatred. Firstly, we were the champions. We were so elated and overjoyed that we "forgave Jason". I guess when you are happy, all your problems just go away.

Secondly, he promised to buy us beer. That significantly changed everything =p

Now that two years have passed, I guess we have put whatever that was in the past as in the past. When I decided to work with him, I did not think about whether we would end up in the same situation again. Perhaps Jason has also changed his personality and managed his anger better from this incident.

 

 

The Summer of '07: My Interpersonal Conflict Experience

“Non-cooperation is a measure of discipline and sacrifice, and it demands respect for the opposite views”

Mahatma Gandhi, Father of the Nation for India

My interpersonal conflict experience happened during summer of 2007, where I was part of the engineering committee for Sheares Hall’s Rag and Flag.

(Rag and Flag is an annual event held in the beginning of the academic year in NUS, where faculties and halls of residence have to build a themed float from recyclable and environmental friendly materials.)

The engineering committee consisted of six members, including team leader Jason (name not real). Initially, we bonded well and respected each other’s suggestions, discussing ideas to come up with engineering concepts for different segments of the float. What started out as a fun-loving team became one that was full of conflicts between the members and their leader.

Over time, designs became complex, deadlines drew closer, and stress levels began to rise. Our discussions with Jason turned into quarrels, until it came to a point where he started ignoring our suggestions. Furthermore, he was absent most of the time, returning after working hours only to criticize our workmanship. Coupled with the lack of sleep, my team mates and I started feeling frustrated, overworked, and under-appreciated. We started isolating ourselves from him, giving him one-answered response should he converse with us. Occasionally, we would go for supper after work, where we complained about work and Jason.

Obviously, Jason noticed the change. Since he knew me longer than the rest, he consulted me about the situation, and I told him everything that was happening. He acknowledged whatever I said and vowed to change. The situation did change, just that it got worse, with conflict reaching climax.

We were working on a segment of the float when he came to voice his disapproval, giving us his “suggestion” that was too complex to construct. We decided to proceed with our initial concept without consulting him. When he saw what was happening, he yelled derogatory remarks at us. He walked away, and so did we, but in different directions.

We patched things up eventually, and worked until the competition day itself. Perhaps the whole fiasco could have been prevented if we had a clearer picture of the end goal in mind – to be champions of the competition. Although we all remained friends with Jason, we swore never to work with or under him again.

There were many factors which brought us to such a situation – stress, miscommunication, personality difference etc. What could we have done to resolve the situation? In fact, what could we not have done to avoid that situation?

Author’s note: We won first place and Jason and I are currently working on another hall project. 

In between the Posts: Patient-Healthcare Provider and Active Listening

Image by http://www.vpul.upenn.edu/

Here’s a question for you to ponder – when the doctor tells you to take your medications two hours after food, will you take them TWO HOURS AFTER food? If the pharmacist advises you to stop smoking, will you do that immediately?

Throughout my internship stint at a Polyclinic, I have seen patients from all walks of life – patients who come in just for the MC, patients who think they can cut the queue because “I pay my taxes too”, and patients who will not admit to their mistakes etc. But what worries (or frustrates?) me are chronic patients who fail to follow their medication regime, and patients who fail to listen to their healthcare providers’ advice.

While working at the counter, patients will come with their leftover packets of medications, telling me to cut down on the prescription since they still have the medications. Some people might not think too much of this, but for us healthcare providers, it is a cause for medical intervention. Usually, medications prescribed for chronic diseases such as high blood pressure and diabetes mellitus are just enough until the next appointment. Having leftovers just mean that patients have not been taking their medication according to their doctors' orders. I would have to sit them down in the counseling room, and guide them through their medications (we call it medication reconciliation). Some patients would then recall what their doctors have told them before, while some have no idea what I am talking about. 

There were a few days where I shadowed a clinical pharmacist who was consulting patients with diabetes mellitus. When she asked the patients whether they did what she advised them to do such as exercising, eating healthy food, stop smoking etc, they would tell her grandmother stories and beat around the bush before admitting to not following her advice.

All these lead me to more questions – is there active listening between the patient and the healthcare provider at all? If the doctor tells the patient the medication regime, why would there be leftovers? Or when the pharmacist advises the patient to eat healthily, what is stopping them from doing so?

What do you think?