The Summer of '07: My Interpersonal Conflict Experience

“Non-cooperation is a measure of discipline and sacrifice, and it demands respect for the opposite views”

Mahatma Gandhi, Father of the Nation for India

My interpersonal conflict experience happened during summer of 2007, where I was part of the engineering committee for Sheares Hall’s Rag and Flag.

(Rag and Flag is an annual event held in the beginning of the academic year in NUS, where faculties and halls of residence have to build a themed float from recyclable and environmental friendly materials.)

The engineering committee consisted of six members, including team leader Jason (name not real). Initially, we bonded well and respected each other’s suggestions, discussing ideas to come up with engineering concepts for different segments of the float. What started out as a fun-loving team became one that was full of conflicts between the members and their leader.

Over time, designs became complex, deadlines drew closer, and stress levels began to rise. Our discussions with Jason turned into quarrels, until it came to a point where he started ignoring our suggestions. Furthermore, he was absent most of the time, returning after working hours only to criticize our workmanship. Coupled with the lack of sleep, my team mates and I started feeling frustrated, overworked, and under-appreciated. We started isolating ourselves from him, giving him one-answered response should he converse with us. Occasionally, we would go for supper after work, where we complained about work and Jason.

Obviously, Jason noticed the change. Since he knew me longer than the rest, he consulted me about the situation, and I told him everything that was happening. He acknowledged whatever I said and vowed to change. The situation did change, just that it got worse, with conflict reaching climax.

We were working on a segment of the float when he came to voice his disapproval, giving us his “suggestion” that was too complex to construct. We decided to proceed with our initial concept without consulting him. When he saw what was happening, he yelled derogatory remarks at us. He walked away, and so did we, but in different directions.

We patched things up eventually, and worked until the competition day itself. Perhaps the whole fiasco could have been prevented if we had a clearer picture of the end goal in mind – to be champions of the competition. Although we all remained friends with Jason, we swore never to work with or under him again.

There were many factors which brought us to such a situation – stress, miscommunication, personality difference etc. What could we have done to resolve the situation? In fact, what could we not have done to avoid that situation?

Author’s note: We won first place and Jason and I are currently working on another hall project. 

In between the Posts: Patient-Healthcare Provider and Active Listening

Image by http://www.vpul.upenn.edu/

Here’s a question for you to ponder – when the doctor tells you to take your medications two hours after food, will you take them TWO HOURS AFTER food? If the pharmacist advises you to stop smoking, will you do that immediately?

Throughout my internship stint at a Polyclinic, I have seen patients from all walks of life – patients who come in just for the MC, patients who think they can cut the queue because “I pay my taxes too”, and patients who will not admit to their mistakes etc. But what worries (or frustrates?) me are chronic patients who fail to follow their medication regime, and patients who fail to listen to their healthcare providers’ advice.

While working at the counter, patients will come with their leftover packets of medications, telling me to cut down on the prescription since they still have the medications. Some people might not think too much of this, but for us healthcare providers, it is a cause for medical intervention. Usually, medications prescribed for chronic diseases such as high blood pressure and diabetes mellitus are just enough until the next appointment. Having leftovers just mean that patients have not been taking their medication according to their doctors' orders. I would have to sit them down in the counseling room, and guide them through their medications (we call it medication reconciliation). Some patients would then recall what their doctors have told them before, while some have no idea what I am talking about. 

There were a few days where I shadowed a clinical pharmacist who was consulting patients with diabetes mellitus. When she asked the patients whether they did what she advised them to do such as exercising, eating healthy food, stop smoking etc, they would tell her grandmother stories and beat around the bush before admitting to not following her advice.

All these lead me to more questions – is there active listening between the patient and the healthcare provider at all? If the doctor tells the patient the medication regime, why would there be leftovers? Or when the pharmacist advises the patient to eat healthily, what is stopping them from doing so?

What do you think?

The Importance of Developing Effective Communication Skills

“The problem with communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished.” 

- George Bernard Shaw, Irish playwright.

Since birth, conveying messages and expressing thoughts and emotions via communication has been an integral part of our lives. However, communication can be such a complex process that it can easily breakdown, resulting in various interpersonal conflicts. As such, effective communication is an important tool which comes with experience and skill, and can be applied in every aspect of life, personal or at work.

Miscommunication begets misunderstandings and breaks relationships. This is so when people misinterpret what was said and start making assumptions dismissing any attempts for clarification. During my term as Vice President for NUS Radio Pulze, a director did not listen during meetings and reacted defensively when provided with constructive feedback. Her lack in effective communication skill has led to other directors refusing to cooperate with her, although her intentions meant well most of the time.

Effective communicating skills can allow me to have a better understanding over a particular situation as well. Through skills such as active listening, it will allow me to view things with a more balanced perspective, rather than obtain a biased judgment brought about by miscommunication.

Being an effective communicator can potentially save time. Just a few weeks ago, I met up with a childhood friend of mine for lunch at a restaurant called “Old Taste”. However, my friend heard it as “Old Town”, the name of another restaurant located in another part of the neighbourhood. Due to the inherent Malaysian traffic jam, he arrived 30 minutes later. Translating this to more important events such as meeting the customer and invading Iran Iraq, miscommunication can be a factor for inefficiency.

Hopefully, the skills learned will allow me to understand the various barriers and strategies to effective communication, allowing me to prevent such barriers from happening, or deal with the situation in a professional and calm manner should the barriers persist. 

And the Blog is Born

image courtesy of antoniofreire

Hello!

Welcome to my blog made specially for the module Professional Communication ES2007S!

Stay tune for more insights on communications and what not!