Sunday, March 1, 2009

Whatever Happens in Romania Stays in Romania


Have you ever noticed that people in movies or television series never take their shoes off unless in a situation requiring them to do so? And when they are in their bedrooms, they lie on their beds with their shoes still on?

Living on campus with students coming from various parts of the world, the way to distinguish an Asian room from an “Ang Moh” room would be the presence of shoes outside their rooms. The Asians would leave theirs outside, while the westerners would not. There are exceptions of course, but it is true most of the time. 

"Ang Moh" is a colloquial term in Singapore/Malaysia for describing "Caucasians". Literally translated as "Red Hair", it may be interpreted as discriminatory among the Caucasian population in this region. However, to many locals it is just a term used interchangeably and affectionally with "Caucasians" in Singlish/Manglish (Singapore/Malaysian English). For the purpose of this article, the term is used for a local Singapore appeal. [Edited 08 March 2009]

My inter-cultural experience brings me back to Romania last summer, where my classmates and I represented NUS in an international pharmacy students’ conference. 

Falling asleep while voting for a motion

On the second night, we decided to have a “Noodle Party” among the Asia Pacific delegates. Of course, we were not the only ones playing host to parties that night – there were the wild Slovenians, the drunken Australians, and who can forget the Canadians!

Arguably the most innocent party that night, we were happily slurping our Asian noodles when a Danish friend of ours, Greg, dropped by with some Polish delegates.

The moment they entered the room, the whole room went silent. Not because they were half drunk, loud, and white, but because THEY HAD THEIR SHOES ON.

“Why is this party so quiet?” asked our fair-skinned Danish friend Greg.

“Why are there so many shoes outside? You’re not wearing your shoes! You’re dirty!” said one of the Polish delegate.

Somehow this got me annoyed. I stood up and asked them to take their shoes off. Greg obliged, while the Polish went on murmuring something in their own language.

“Hey, is this the nude party!?” said a topless Slovenian who was standing outside our door. Apparently, word got out that we Asians were having a “Nude Party”. They must be quite drunk or sexually motivated to mistake “Noodle” for “Nude”!

“Nope, they’re all clothed!” replied the Polish delegates while leaving the room.

Spot Greg the Ang Moh

The next day, I was having lunch with Greg when he asked if I was offended by the shoe incident. I told him that we were not offended by what they did, although taking off your shoes is a sign of respect to the host in many Asian societies.

“Then why did you all quieten down when we entered?”

I could not explain that, neither could I explain my annoyance when the Polish commented on us not wearing shoes. In my heart I was trying to convince myself that I was open minded in intercultural situations like this, and that I would understand if a westerner walked into my room without taking his shoes off. However, this situation clearly showed that we were not ready for such a revolution!

“I guess it could be hygiene?" I replied eventually. "Since we don’t wear our footwear in, you might have brought in whatever dirt that you all have stepped on before.”

We may think that learning about intercultural communication will make us more understanding towards others, but the fact is that we will never know how we will react until that situation happens. I still think that I was never offended by their actions, but after writing this, I think I am very much Asian with strong cultural traditions after all!

 

 

 

12 comments:

  1. I really like this post, Chee Kiang, because it addresses cultural norms on various levels and it does so in a comprehensive and articulate manner. Of course, on the most obvious level, you focus on the Asian norm of taking shoes off when entering a room or a house and you demonstrate clearly how, in Eastern Europe at least, that concept is very foreign. You also touch on the linguistic confusion between nude and noodle, and how impressions are given that might not be intended. But you take things a step further and discuss people's "reactions" to those norms, including Greg's and your own (and how you identify yourself via this norm).

    Oddly, I now identify so strongly with the norm of "no shoes inside" that I advocate this behavior with my family back in the US. My sister in Ohio is completely converted; her husband less so. My mother...never!
    There are many Americans, however, who do see the hygienic value in this norm, so -- to quote the Otis Redding song -- maybe "a change is gonna come."

    Thanks for inspiring these thoughts!

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  2. Hi Chee Kiang, I agree with you. I think as much as we want to be liberal and "open-minded" about cultural differences, there are certain things that we simply cannot budge. Especially when we become more aware of infectious microbes that prowl and lurk at every corner, ready to devour us. okok, I am exaggerating a little. It's just the after-effect of studying for my test on "infectious diseases". Haha...But seriously, I don't think I can stand shoes in the house as well.
    From your account, I thought the Polish delegate was quite rude when he called you all "dirty" for not wearing your shoes in the house. On the other hand, I felt that Greg displayed more tact in that instance by taking off his shoes and even asking you the next day if you were offended by the incident. In this situation, two different responses were observed, one of which could have caused the situation to turn awry. It's definitely a good reminder on the importance of sensitivity to each other's culture during intercultural communications. Thank you for your post!

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  3. Mr. Blackstone: Thanks! Honestly, my point was only on the shoe incident. I didn't notice so much non-verbal misinterpretations and miscommunication going on that night!

    Grace: Haha, later we might contract fungal infections at the toe or something. Is it candida albicans? Gosh it was only one semester ago that I took microbiology!

    To be honest, the western people can get really rowdy and rude when they're drunk. In fact, they're perpetually drunk all the time!

    Greg was a very understanding guy, although we would always end up in heated discussions about ideologies and world views e.g. pre-marital sex, sexuality etc. He was the most outgoing "ang moh" I saw at the conference as he attempted to mix with everyone regardless of continents =p

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  4. When you say "Western people" ("they're perpetually drunk all the time"), I think that's a bit of an over-generalization. I mean, after all, you're only making a sweeping statement about some one billion people.

    Why not try and be more specific and state it as follows: "many Eastern European college students."

    I had an acquaintance in KL years ago who used to refer to all Chinese as money grubbers, all Malays as "bums," and all Indians as "toddy drinkers." He himself was an obnoxious American pedant, and I would have hated if someone would have judged all Americans by his model.

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  5. Mr. Blackstone: Thanks for identifying the sweeping statement!

    I would rather correct my statement as "The western delegates whom I met in Romania".

    "Many Eastern European college students" does not represent all the delegates I met there. After all, there were "Western people" from Western Europe, Australia, and the Americas as well!

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  6. Of course. Do ot the way it should be done. My point is not so much the phrase you choose, but the accuracy of it, whatever it might be. I just don't like the over-generalizations because, aside from being false, they hide the nuance.

    Which brings me to the word "Ang Mo." Does that include any nuance of contempt, or condemnation? You're linguistically and culturally fluent, Chee Kiang. What do you think? I really don't know. But I do know that if a person were to call you a Chink in the US, that would be the equivalent of the same person calling an Italian and Wop, or calling a Hispanic a Spic, or calling me a Cracker...or calling our president a Nigger. All not good. Does "Ang Mo" have any similar negative connotation?

    And look, dude, haven't you learned to call me Brad yet? "Mr. Blackstone" is ooookay, but I feel like you're reprimanding me a bit.

    I'm glad we can get past the pleasantries and discuss things that matter in this course.

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  7. Mr. Blackstone:

    I agree that "Ang Mo" does have some negative connotations when used in conversations. However, if you think about it, "Ang Mo" just means "Red-Hair" or "Caucasian" - way different from "Nigger" etc.

    Interestingly, none of the Caucasian friends I made, who are based in Malaysia and Singapore, have mentioned to me about what they felt about the term "Ang Mo", or even "Guai Lo" before.

    A check on wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ang_Mo) does explain the negative connotations to both of the terms, and although I don't subscribe to it, I apologize if it had offended you in anyway.

    And I will continue calling you Mr. Blackstone for the rest of my life. I stand by my principles that I will never call my teachers/superiors by their given name. I believe that as long as you're imparting knowledge to me, you demand my respect, regardless of the type of knowledge (good, bad). If you noticed, I call you "sir" in class, never Brad. This is another "Revolution" which I'm not ready to change.

    Come on! Don't tell I'm more respectful than some of the Japanese students you experienced?

    Well, unless calling you "Mr. Blackstone" will affect my grades, and our relationship, I won't be changing it anytime soon!

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  8. Hey Chee Kiang,

    I must say... Interesting digression from your post proper going on here. Well I am quite comfortable calling my Lecturers/tutors by their first names, especially the "Ang Moh" ones. I guess this is due to the fact that I am the kind of person who adapts pretty well to various comfort levels and I feel this concept of using the first name is something the Westerners (or at least most of them) are very comfortable with. Furthermore, it seems to increase student-teacher intimacy and makes for a more comfortable, less rigid study environment. I know Brad is comfortable with that. Just hope that doesn't make me a "rude student" by Asian standards.

    Hey... I just realized... We have been evaluating intercultural behaviour with regards to this "first name calling" topic as well. Wow! An evaluation within an evaluation... Cool!

    Oh yeah... As for your post proper, cool post and I think I'm "properly Asian" in this area. I can't ever imagine wearing my shoes indoors!

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  9. Hey Dhinesh!

    You know what, I was thinking the same thing too with regards to the intercultural miscommunication! Not just the "first name calling", but the meaning behind "Ang Moh"!

    The Caucasians might misunderstand us when we refer them as "Ang Moh", but "Ang Moh" is pretty much Singlish, and can be used in an affectionate way! It's just like calling your close friend "B***H", I don't think he/she will be offended by it!

    Maybe I should bring this up in my "In-between" posts!

    Personally, I believe that while we try to discuss matters over a less formal and more intimate setting, there are also professional etiquettes to adhere to, including calling your superior/lecturer by their family name.

    I'm not saying that just because you call the person by their first name means that you're not being professional!

    What I'm saying is just because I don't refer you by your first name, doesn't mean that things have to be awkward or reprimanding.

    We have this lab assistant by the name of Perry Lim. We call him "Mr. Perry" as there are too many "Mr. Lims" around. We are very close to our lab assistants as the department is small, and they are always there to guide us through our practical sessions. Recently, he just got his PhD. We immediately switched to "Dr. Perry" or "Dr. Lim". There's no awkwardness thus far!
    You're not a rude student by Asian standards LARR!

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  10. Thanks, Chee Kiang, for expressing your thoughts. We've brought up lots of interesting issues here, all of which are worthy of discussion, especially in the context of intercultural communication. I appreciate your willingness to engage these topics with your "superior."

    I appreciate you checking out Wikipedia on the "Ang Mo" connotation, too. I suppose we can just shelve it as innocuous since it is Singlish, but any linguist will tell you that all the words for social groups that I listed in my previous comment were also the common lexicon of various American English dialects at one time. It has taken a great effort in social consciousness-raising to change those words' usage from very regular to occasional (and politically incorrect in most **educated** and **professional** circles). As far as using "Ang Mo" with me, okay-lah. (We're all friends here.) But there most definitely are occasions when I would not use it if I were you or any Singaporean who purports to be educated and/or professional. Context is everything.

    As for the name thing, call me whatever makes you most comfortable. Personally, I feel more comfortable with Brad, even in the company of students, but if calling me Mr. Blackstone makes you feel that my job is more lofty, or I'm imparting greater knowledge, or if you just feel it's easier to do for some deep-seated reason, go for it. I've been called worse, that's for sure.

    Cheers---

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  11. Hi Mr. Blackstone:

    This was a really interesting discussion. Too bad the discussion was more of between you and I, and interjected by Dhinesh!

    Any ethnic group or community would definitely not like being labeled. I can name you so many things of what constitutes "Me": Chinese, Chinese School B*st*rd, Pendatang, Banana etc. It's only in a more affectionate setting that these terms become less of an offense.

    See you in class, Brad!!! =D

    CK

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  12. I've certainly called my lecturers worse, Mr. Blackstone. Rest assured Chee Kiang's style stems purely from a deep-rooted Asian/Chinese obsession with showing respect to one's seniors/elders.

    Though I think Hollywood is largely to blame for one's stereotype of the typical American, I too, dislike over-generalisations and sweeping statements. I would think they display not only ignorance but also conformity to stereotypes and the like. I do, however, concur with your acquaintance's opinion that we Chinese are a bunch of "money grubbers". =P

    In our defense and imho, I think using the term "ang-moh" is just what people in this part of the world use to casually and conveniently address Caucasians. May I stress, conveniently - seeing how Caucasian is a three syllable word and "ang mo" is not only 1 syllable less, it also comes from the dialect commonly used in Singapore (and some parts of Malaysia) - Hokkien. At the risk of sounding pompous and condescending, some people just don't know the word 'Caucasian'. Unfortunately, it wouldn't be entirely uncommon to see people describe all Caucasians as American (and those with green pupils British), all black-skinned people as African or the sort.

    That said, I for one will be making conscious effort to eliminate 'ang moh' from my vocabulary. =)

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